Rating: T (Teen—language, suggested adult situation)

Notes Part 1: This takes place during the second half of Season 3.  Spoilers for "All In" and Tritter eppies.

Notes Part 2: House MD belongs to FOX and its copyright holders. All other characters are fictitious and of my own invention. Please send comments to dante0220@yahoo.com .



Chapter 1 [Monday after Thanksgiving]

House stalked into his office fresh off of a relaxing weekend at home. No Clinic. No whining. No nursemaiding from Cameron. Even Cuddy being out of town gave him a brief respite from the nightmares.

It was just him, his guitar, the piano, lots of hard liquor and Steve McQueen as a willing audience. He could definitely deal with that…..

An hour earlier, he’d scored a ticket to the Monster Trucks Rally in Newark on the following Saturday.

The world should always be like this! He smirked while putting on his headphones and listening to the philosophical lyrics of Morrison and Buffett and closed his eyes.

Life was good…..


****


[Twenty minutes later]

Cuddy walked back into her office after a long weekend in the Hamptons with friends. With Wilson running things back at PPTH, she tried to have fun, managing to enjoy dinner and some walks with Paula Travers, an old classmate from med school, and her family. They watched some movies and did some shopping in the specialty stores there.

Of course, Paula’s harping about her finding a man didn’t help matters any.

Nor did Wilson’s calls concerning House blowing off his Clinic shifts.

And then there was Peter Waynewright’s message on her home phone fuming over the appointment she’d set up between him and House from the previous week. The high-roller donor had a rare fungal condition on his groin and asked for discretion.

She’d arranged for him and House to meet in the Clinic—trying to be discreet in the process.

House, being as ‘discreet’ as he always was, accused Waynewright of being ‘too frisky with Little Petey’….

…over the hospital’s central loudspeaker….

Way to go, House! She growled while gulping down a cup of coffee and changing into her white lab coat. She’d check on the Clinic and the cases first to make sure nothing else had been screwed up first. Then she’d confront House….

Before she could leave, the phone rang.

Now what? “Hello?” she answered.

“Dean Cuddy, this is Arthur Rathburne. How are you doing this morning?”

She smiled, letting her voice relax so as not to antagonize another donor. “I’m fine, Mr. Rathburne. How are you?”

“I’m great. I was calling to ask for volunteers for our network telethon next weekend. Unfortunately, my staff’s tied up at a retreat and I’ll be short three spots. Think any of the doctors would be willing to pitch in for the day? I’d be extremely grateful if you could find someone,” he explained.

She grimaced, knowing that the man in question had already asked her out twice. “It’s no trouble, Mr. Rathburne. I’ll definitely fill those three spots. Just let me look at the Clinic roster and I’ll make sure that I don’t get someone who’s scheduled for there.”

“Sounds great. I know you’d appreciate the extra $2500.00 added onto my annual donation check. Besides maybe you can say hi to Carmen?” he indicated.

“Carmen?”

“My new girlfriend.”

She felt a big weight being lifted off of her shoulders while she pulled up the Clinic schedule on her computer screen. As she skimmed the names therein, she saw everyone was pulling a few hours that weekend with one exception. How’d he do it now? “I’ll have to juggle some spots but definitely you’ll have your people, Mr. Rathburne.”

“Splendid. Thank you, Dean Cuddy. Please send me an email with the names and schedule, will you? Have a great day,” he concluded.

She hung up the phone pondering how the schedule had ended up as it had. Before she left, she made sure House had been scheduled for three hours each day on the following weekend. Yet now, she saw Wilson’s name in his place. “How many times do I have to change my damn password?”

She glanced at her purse and the CD sticking out of it. Paula thought she’d be clever by giving me a Wagner CD. She had no idea…..


 

Chapter 2 [Seven Minutes Later]

After double checking various details with her office assistant and Nurse Henderson, Cuddy stood in House’s doorway watching her most notorious/creative doctor enjoying a deep siesta. She tsked at the pile of folders on his desk not that she was surprised.

If a case bored him, it would take divine intervention to get him to pick it up again.

She crept over to the CD player and saw that whatever was in it had stopped playing. This is going to be too easy! She slowly and carefully opened the top, making sure he snoozed on as she did so. She swapped the disc with her Wagner CD.

Then she turned the volume all the way up, set the player to the appropriate track, pressed play and stepped back.

Instantly, the Ride of the Valkyries boomed into House’s eardrums.

The diagnostician jumped a good foot from his seat. “Damn it! What the Hell?” He snatched the ear phones from his head and slammed them to the desk.

“You’ve got no idea, House,” she informed him tersely. “Enjoying yourself?”

“You wish,” he groused while rubbing his ears and shaking his head back into place. “Thought you were going to be out of town until tomorrow. Knew Wilson’s whining would bring you back early.”

“Actually it was Little Petey. Remember him, House?” she snapped. “I just ask one thing out of you last week. Just one. Couldn’t you be nice to him?”

“Hey! I told Waynewright that he had a venereal disease, all right? He thinks the magic white cream will fix everything. I told him to quit showing Little Petey a good time so much. He made some half-assed comment that he would do it if I announced it over the speaker,” he recounted.

She grimaced. “Which of course you did. House, he was being sarcastic, all right?”

“Hey, he told me to do it! You told me to listen to the patients more. Remember?” he jabbed back, adding the blank-eyed stare for emphasis.

She rubbed her temples, feeling the headache coming. “I didn’t mean like that….”

“Oh so now, you don’t want me respecting their little feelings? Love those loopholes, Boss. Don’t they suck?” he inquired, adding his own sarcasm to the mix.

“That’s not what I meant!” she countered. “House, why do you have to be such an ass?”

“Because you love me just the way I am?” he replied while tilting his head to the left and pouting just a bit.

“Oh I love you all right,” she told him. “I love you so much that we’re going to spend the whole weekend together. You choose where.”

He scrunched his brow. “Can’t. Got plans.”

“Tough. Break them because you and I are either doing the entire weekend in the Clinic or downtown at the television studio. And if you pick the former, just be aware, it’s the start of a whole month of Clinic duty,” she informed him with a straight face.

“Yeah right,” he scoffed.

She reached under his couch and pulled out the mini-TV from its hiding place. “No soaps either.”

“HEY!”

“What’s the matter, House? Not feeling so in control now, are you?” she supposed. “Look, you just embarrassed me in front of a major donor! I will make you do a whole month of Clinic duty where I’ll have Henderson pull up every little sniffle, whiny parent, obnoxious street person and even team you up with Parker to really make your day.”

“I’ll bet Henderson’s gearing up for that. Too bad I’ve already got all of these cases.”

“I’ve already reassigned them.” She walked into the office and grabbed the files from his desk. “I’m waiting for an answer.”

“That desperate? Man, it must suck not to be able to get a date.”

“At least I spent the weekend with fellow humans instead of being blasted with a rat. Hope you liked it because it’s the last one for a while!” she informed him.

“Talk is cheap, Cuddy,” he retorted.

“Not when I’m done this time. So, what’s it going to be?” she pressed while folding her arms across her chest. “A month in the Clinic or a weekend of community service?”

At the words, community service, he wondered, What would be worth doing in a weekend what she can use to torture me for an entire month? Something stinks! “And what’s the service?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” she informed him. “Well?”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “We’ll do the studio. Try not to wear anything too revealing, Cuddy.”

“Keep dreaming, House.” She walked out of the suite while lugging the mini-TV after herself. Her stratagem had worked or so she thought…..




Chapter 3

Between the loss of his soap and the threatened weekend activity, House spent the better part of the morning split between stewing in his juices and avoiding all work. (If he couldn’t do what he wanted, why should Cuddy get what she wanted for that matter?) He sent the Ducklings out on rounds. (Although he suspected Cameron and Chase had hijacked one of the lounges for less than professional purposes. Not that he cared except for the gibe material he could get for later.)

Whatever she was planning—if it was worth trading making him endure a month in the Clinic—it was really going to suck.

He racked his brain trying to figure out what “it” was.


****


[That afternoon—Cafeteria]

Having gone in circles for the previous three hours, he finally stalked down to the cafeteria, looking to deal with the growling in his stomach and pump a certain best friend/oncologist for potential information. Spotting Wilson, he cut into the line right behind the other man.

“You just love making friends, don’t you?” Wilson supposed with the quirked eyebrow while glancing around at the eyes rolling and pissed off expressions on their colleagues’ faces.

“Let ‘em eat cake, I say. I’ve got bigger fish today,” House dismissed with a snort. Frankly, he could care less about Cuddy’s other butt-kissing minions.

“So I hear. Word has it you’ve been drafted for the weekend. Lighten up, House. It won’t be that bad…although in your case….”

House grabbed a Reuben sandwich and set it on his friend’s tray, adding a pointed glance as he did so. He could almost smell when Wilson knew something about one of Cuddy’s plots.

Wilson didn’t say anything other than being glad it wasn’t the Delmonico steak on the next rack. “Want your coffee too?”

“WHOA! Is there ever a time, I don’t?” House shot him the blank stare.

Wilson sighed. “No, there isn’t.” As he got up to the cashier, he received a sympathetic look from the woman behind the counter. He shrugged while handing her a twenty dollar bill before ferrying the Diagnostician over to the corner of the room where the latter could cause the least amount of mayhem.

“What’s Cuddy up to? You know, don’t you?” House insisted.

“A thank you would be nice, you know,” Wilson retorted while starting into a cheeseburger. Although he knew better than to expect that from his friend, he felt the jab was necessary.

“Sorry, Ms. Manners is out sick today. Please try again,” House retorted sarcastically.

“That’s a shock,” Wilson muttered to himself sarcastically. “So, tell me—how did I end up with all of the extra Clinic duty this weekend? That is the funny thing: me being in charge last weekend and not hearing about changes to the schedule or anything.”

“Maybe Cuddy got her bra in a snag and sicced them on you. You’re such a compliant little boy and all,” House proposed snarkily.

“Except she didn’t.” Wilson rubbed the sides of his nose, wondering how he was ever going to get through to the other doctor. “Cuddy usually gives notice of these things except when she needs to oh I don’t know—BROWBEAT SOMEONE—into doing something. We wouldn’t know such a person now, would we?”

House chuckled at Wilson’s attempt at a lecture. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Daddy. Honest. I’ve been so good.”

“Funny though how the extra slots were yours and you weren’t anywhere on the roster, House. That and your snagging those tickets. Too bad about them, isn’t it?” Wilson supposed while tapping a long white envelope on the table. “Yup. Too bad.”

House observed the envelope in Wilson’s hand. Obviously, the other man wanted him to see the obnoxious tapping stuff going on. “Gimme!”

Before House could snatch it, Wilson yanked it back. “You haven’t looked at your mail yet? I’m sure there’s one just like it in your slot. I’m going to be there with you and Cuddy at the television studio this weekend.”

“So you do know. Gimme!” House instructed while making another attempt at the envelope and missing again.

“Sure. I told Cuddy I thought it was a mistake in your case but she insisted….”

“Just tell me already, damn it!”

Wilson sighed, bracing himself and the rest of the cafeteria for the expected reaction. “There’s the Medical Needs Telethon this weekend.”

House stared at him incredulously. “Yeah right! She expects us to do that!” He snorted loudly.

“Whatever, House, finish that and then check your mail. You’ll find one of these in there, I’m sure,” Wilson affirmed while finishing his coffee. And when he does, I’m sure we’ll hear about it!


****


[Twenty Minutes Later—Diagnostics Suite]

Having ascertained by the end of his sandwich that Wilson had no further information, House limped back up to his office and fished through his mail. “Nothing there! I knew it! Hah!”

“Gloating, are we?” Cuddy wondered while walking into his office with a satisfied smirk on her face.

“Roped Wilson into your plot too?” he inquired.

“He volunteered in exchange for a few of those extra Clinic hours which mysteriously appeared under his name,” she explained while pulling out a white envelope. “That is for you. I wanted to make sure to hand it to you personally.”

He frowned and flicked it onto the desk. He wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of reading it. “Thanks for the junk mail. I’ll be sure to file it in just the right place.”

She snorted. “Just be there on Saturday morning, House.” She glanced at her watch. “By the way, you’ve got Clinic duty in fifteen minutes. Let’s go.”

He rolled his eyes. “Now you’re doing escort services? Wow! Hey, what does someone need for a freebie?”

She shook her head. “You wish. More like your mother taking you to school. Let’s go.” She motioned to him with his head, telling him to move it.

For about three minutes, he sat there.

She leaned against the doorframe, not moving either. Her eyes bore into his unrelentingly.

Finally, he ground his teeth and got up. “Fine! Let’s deal with the Whiners already!” He marched out, already coming up with a plan to avoid the garbage on Saturday.

She looked to the ceiling. Give me strength! With that, she rushed after him, making sure that he would get to the Clinic without any “detours”.



Chapter 4 [Saturday Morning—about 5:30 AM]

House hobbled about his apartment, making sure that everything was in order. A quick check let him know that all of his appliances were turned off and Steve’s needs were met. He also made sure that the timers would turn off at 10:00 AM on the lights, making it seem as if he would still be there.

Which of course, he wouldn’t be……

From the time written on the letter, House knew Cuddy expected him at the TV studio for 8:45. By that time, he’d be safely in Newark and hidden away for the day, awaiting the truck rally that afternoon. As if I’d miss the rally for *that crap*? Yeah right! He snorted sarcastically while grabbing his bag and slipping out the front door. Within two minutes, he was in his car and pulling out of his space. “Yeah!”

Just before he reached the street, a certain Lexus blocked the driveway; its headlights showing right in his face. “Damn it!”

Cuddy got out and marched up to his window. “Going somewhere, House?”

“Playing cop now?”

She shrugged. “I am your boss. It’s kind of strange that you’d be leaving for downtown now.” She glanced at her watch. “We still have about three hours to go.” She looked at him. “And you don’t look like you’re dressed.”

“I’m not doing it, Cuddy.”

“Oh you’re doing it, all right. I’m not moving my car until you get back in there and get dressed.” She reached up and snatched his ticket for the rally from under the visor. “Thought so.”

“Give that back!” he protested.

“I’ll be keeping this, House. Get dressed,” she indicated. Seeing him glaring at her, she knew he wouldn’t move from that spot. “Get dressed…and I’ll take you to breakfast,” she conceded before folding her arms across her chest. She stood right in front of the car, blocking his path of escape.

“It better be Michael’s,” he insisted while turning off his motor. With her standing where she was, there wasn’t any hope of escape. Besides, getting a free meal off of her was some means of saving face.

“Fine. Michael’s,” she groused. I catch him going back on our agreement and I’m going to end up paying $50.00 for it? What the Hell? As he headed back into the apartment, she shook her head. Go with it, Lisa. It could have been worse!



Chapter 5 [TV Studio, Downtown Princeton]
[8:38 AM]

House fidgeted with his tie for the ten-thousandth time as Cuddy parked in one of the guest lots. Michael’s never disappointed him when it came to breakfast (especially when someone else was footing the bill). The “sausage griddle platter” heaped the plate, definitely filling him up.

“Cut it out, House. You’re fine,” she chided while setting the parking brake and straightening her hair.

“Nice to know you’re in control of everything,” he cracked.

She arched her eyebrow at him. “Please try to be polite to people on the phone. Remember, this is helping to pay for the gear you use to solve your puzzles. At least since Little Petey reduced his donation this year thanks to you.”

“Sure. Keep bringing that up. Remind Petey that he should keep his trap shut,” he retorted sharply while getting out of the car and slamming the door shut. He started limping toward the studio doors.

This is going to be some day! She rolled her eyes and rushed after him.

****


[Telethon Set]

Wilson, Cameron and Chase sat off to the side of the studio watching as the camera equipment was being set up. Unlike House and Cuddy, they didn’t have the foresight to plan a breakfast out. Instead, they sponged off of the donuts and coffee just out of camera view on the set.

“I still can’t believe House is really going to do this,” Chase doubted.

“Cuddy said she’d make sure he was here. Given what we went through with him last week, she’ll back that up,” Wilson indicated.

She snorted sarcastically. “Bet he’s already on his way out of town. He’s not going to wait for her to corner…him.” Seeing her boss limping in the door, she stared incredulously. “Wow.”

“Told you,” Wilson affirmed, fighting back the smirk that wanted to be on his face.

“Not a word. Any of you!” House snapped while fixing a cup of coffee. “I should be in Newark right now.”

“What happened?” Chase asked.

“I outmaneuvered him, Chase,” Cuddy announced. “I got to his apartment at about 4 AM and waited for him to make his move.” She grinned. “You should see yourself when you busted, House.”

“Keep going, Cuddy. Just keep going,” House stewed before taking a chug of coffee. “I’ll get even.”

“After this morning’s bill, I say you already did that,” she reminded him.

House let the sides of his mouth twitch into a slight grin before resuming the grim countenance. Then he headed off for his post and the phone waiting there.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to have him doing this?” Wilson asked, fearing the potential disaster brewing in the wings.

“The rest of us are taking turns. So should he. Let’s just get through today,” she asserted albeit with more certainty than she felt. She led them over to the bank of phones where House was already set up.

“You’re sure taking your sweet time, Cuddy. Must be all of that extra stalker time you put in,” House jabbed.

“Must be the instinct that you’d try and get out of this like everything else,” she retorted.

“If we’re here, you can be here too, House,” Cameron added.

He shot her a glare which said that someone was about to pay with extra Clinic hours (ie: covering his) during the following week.

“Let’s just remember to be polite. Be pleasant. Take their basic information. Thank them for calling in.” Cuddy held up the script. “There’s one of these at each station. It’s your guide. Just follow it. If you have any questions, there are floaters coming around. Just put your hand up.”

House, of course, stuck his hand up.

“Yes, House?” the administrator asked tersely.

“And why do we have to do this again?” he asked in a mock-sweet voice with the “duh” look on his face.

“Questions like that will earn extra Clinic time,” she vowed pointedly.

“Aw man! And here the nice librarian said there were no stupid questions. Should’ve known that doesn’t apply to you, Empress.”

“Loopholes, House.”

“You mean cleavage credits, Cuddy.”

“Whatever you want to call it, House, it’s what we all have to do. Just go with it,” she advised before heading for her phone and hoping that everything would go for the best.



Chapter 6 [Two hours later]

Despite the advanced advertising, the phones didn’t start ringing as the telethon started at 9:00 AM. People, it seemed, weren’t in a really giving mood.

As such, the doctors sat around, talking to each other, munching on donuts and waiting for the phones to ring.


****

I can’t believe this is happening! Cuddy rubbed her forehead. The phone had rung once but it was a wrong number. Don’t people believe in clinical research? She could almost feel House’s smug look from the other end of the phone bank. He’s going to rub it in. Of course he’s going to!

Her phone rang.

“Finally!” she exclaimed almost in triumph. “Good morning. Thanks for calling in. How are you this morning?”

“Peachy considering how busy we are, Cuddy,” House’s voice gloated over the phone. “Can we call out for pizza now?”

Her face went beet-red and the others could see the steam spewing out of her ears. “House, you’re supposed to be waiting for calls! Get off!” She slammed the phone down.

As she did, she saw Wilson looking at her with a pained wince and Cameron stare in shock.

She glanced over to see that the camera had caught her scene. Shit! Can anything else happen?

As Fate would have it, the phone rang for real….

…but it was House’s.

“Ooh lookie, Mom! It’s for me!” House cheered with mock-sincerity. He answered it. “Good afternoon, Medical Needs Telethon.”

Cuddy felt her heart sinking.

House nodded while trying to follow the script. He, of course, cut out all of the idle chit-chat stuff because he was already bored to tears. “And you’re looking for better treatment options?”

“Course I am!” the deep voice answered. “Gotta do something to get better equipment at Princeton’s Clinic.”

“Yeah—that place really needs a facelift, doesn’t it? I’ll be sure to pass that along to Dean Cuddy when I talk to her. She loves patient comments,” House responded, sounding surprisingly professional.

Everyone was breathing a sigh of relief.

“Well if you can get a comment to her, tell her she needs new staff there too. My wife was telling me about this druggie jackass who’s pretending to be a doctor. If she’d replace him, I’d donate five hundred dollars on the spot,” the caller reported.

Suddenly, the relief drained out of the room.

“You would, huh? Gee, wow! Bet you’d love to talk with the druggie jackass, wouldn’t ya?” House supposed while reclining in his chair. He was already sizing this twit up for the kill.

No! No! No! Cuddy jumped out of her chair.

“Yeah I’d love to tell him he’s a quack. My wife’s got a weight problem,” the caller insisted.

“The cow actually has a whining problem. She needs to shut up and go on a diet, you MORON!” Hearing the angry silence on the other end, he added, “Oops. Guess you should make sure you aren’t talking to druggie jackass quacks before you shoot off your big mouth. Shouldn’t you? Better check the mantle for where she keeps that jar with your precious stuff in it. Have a nice day.” He pressed the disconnect button.

“You’re impossible!” Cuddy lectured. “Can’t you just let him talk?”

“And let his wife delude herself? Whoa! We’re doctors!” House made sure the camera was off of himself before swallowing some Vicodin pills. “So when are we getting the pizza, Boss?”

She smacked herself in the head, not knowing what to say. Yes, he was way out of bounds with what he had said. On the other hand, however, the caller did pick that fight (even if it was a valid complaint). She shook her head, retreating back to her post and wondering what she’d ever done to deserve this failure. We could have the first negative telethon in world history.

“Lunch is an awesome idea. Take an hour,” the producer chimed in, eager to rethink some strategies before he led another foray deeper into the Land of Red Ink. “Can we run that special on Princeton Plainsboro now, Dr. Cuddy?”

“Please do. Come on, everyone. You too, House,” the Dean agreed, feeling eager for a break. “Let’s not keep the food waiting, shall we?”

House smirked in triumph. This whole deal definitely served her right. If he couldn’t have his Monster Trucks, why should she have her success either?




Chapter 7 [4:57 PM]

The pizza and soda provided a tension break from the dead phones, allowing the doctors to ponder what was going on. Except for House, everyone hoped for a pick up in caller volume after the extended break.

For his part, House had sat in the corner, still grousing over the fact the truck rally was going on across the state and he was playing boredom games in that studio.

Cameron and Chase took off at 1:00 to get back to PPTH and their Clinic hours.

Wilson did the same at 4:00.

Other doctors rotated in to take their places at the phones, leaving House and Cuddy as the only two stalwarts left.


****

The call volume did indeed pick up after 2:30 as a few of the donors gave additional donations. A few businesses primed the interest by matching their employees’ donations.

For their parts, House and Cuddy did rack up some support. Perhaps it was the studio doing a better job of screening calls but there weren’t any more ‘druggie jackass’ calls. At least they climbed out of the red and into the black.

And that was before House’s phone rang one last time for the day.

He rolled his eyes, hoping he would be done already for the day. “Medical Needs Telethon.”

“Hi. Dr. House, right?” the caller—a woman—asked.

“Yeah that’s me. And you are?”

“You don’t remember me probably. My son, Ian, was Dr. Cuddy’s patient and it was during your charity game at the hospital. You saved his life, remember?”

He glanced at Cuddy who was hanging up from her last call and signaled for her to listen in.

She nodded and did so.

He shuddered, not really wanting the touchy-feely stuff especially with the entire world watching him do it but he had to go along with it. “Kid doing okay?”

“He’s great. Dr. House, he wanted to thank you, your team and Dr. Cuddy for helping him. For those who are listening in, these people saved my son’s life. After that night, we’d like to donate a thousand dollars to make sure the hospital keeps you. Maybe it’ll help with research or equipment but a mind like yours needs support.”

He shuddered, not knowing how to take the praise and feeling embarrassed in the process. Seeing Cuddy smiling at him, he hit the mute button. “Oh be quiet, Cuddy. Don’t start.”

“Shut up and get the info, House. Don’t let it go to your head,” she retorted evenly.

“Fine,” he replied, not giving an inch even as he turned the sound back on. “Okay. I’m going to get that information. Got it ready?”

“I have my credit card right here. Sign me up, Dr. House, and thank you.”

With that, he went to work as only he could, stunning people in both the studio and outside of it as well.

And with that, House turned the tables…again.


 

Chapter 8
[An hour later—House’s Apartment]

After wrapping up that call (and the telethon with it), House rode along with Cuddy back to his apartment. He rubbed his neck, feeling glad to have his collar open and the tie bunched up in his pocket. “Afternoon really bailed you out, Cuddy.”

She parked her car and glanced over at him. “Don’t say anything about this morning, House.”

“Why? Because we were there and nobody else was? Admit it, Cuddy, not everyone’s cut out for the telethon biz,” he noted. “I did my share too.”

“After nearly starting a lawsuit this morning?” she countered.

“Hey! I got him first. Being called ‘druggie jackass quack’ on the airwaves is defamation of character, isn’t it?” he challenged.

“So’s calling his wife a cow, him an idiot and asking him about the balls in the jar,” she noted dryly. “Still we raised $5000.00 in just four hours. You did a third of that yourself. You did all right.” She smiled to him. “Thank you for working with me on this one, House.” She grabbed a bag out of her backseat and checked her watch.

“Now what? Big date?” he jabbed.

“Maybe.” She handed him another white envelope. “Open it.”

“What’s this? More Clinic hours?” he supposed.

“You have those anyhow. Just open it. It’s a bonus for today,” she hinted.

He scrunched his brow but did so. Inside, he found two tickets for that evening’s truck rally. “What the Hell? How? It’s been sold out for three damn weeks!”

“Arthur Rathburne got those for us as a thank you for this afternoon. I told him that you gave up the matinee. He wanted you to have them.” She took a ticket for herself. “Of course, I have to see what this is all about for myself.”

“That figures. Well, after putting up with this crap, I get something for myself.” Before she could protest, he stole a kiss off of her lips.

It took her ten seconds before she could regain her breath. “You just keep pushing your luck, don’t you?”

“Gotta try.” He eyed her formal suit. “But you’re not going like that.”

“Oh, I wasn’t planning on it. That’s what this is for,” she assured him while patting the paper bag. “Let’s change and get something on the way. That is if you can move your ass fast enough.”

“Just try me,” he indicated while smiling in satisfaction.

Maybe he could have it all……


****


[Midnight—West Princeton, Cuddy’s House]

After a couple of hours of sitting in a noisy, smoky arena full of screaming kids and “adults,” Cuddy was still trying to understand the “appeal” of the derby. She had to admit that there was some skill involved but still, she wasn’t about to sit through it again. Everyone does something like this once.

She covered her mouth with her hand as she coughed again.

“Better keep both hands on the wheel, Cuddy. Never know where a cop’ll be hiding,” House advised/jabbed.

“And you know all about that, don’t you?” she supposed while passing by the chosen exit on the interstate.

“Umm, you missed again, Boss.”

“Missed what? Oh that.” She smirked at him. “I did that deliberately.” She headed for her own exit. “You did remember to feed the rat, right?”

“Steve is all set for tonight. Getting all considerate now? Whoa!” He exaggerated a shocked recoil for her benefit. Then he looked her over. He had to admit that while she looked great in a business suit, she seemed even better in a t-shirt and a dark pair of jeans.

“Must be the leering. You’re doing it again,” she declared, clearly catching him in the act.

“Hey, don’t blame me for the cleavage and your ass, Cuddy.” He noticed that they were on her street. “This is your house.”

“That’s right. What’s the matter, House? Afraid you might have to back up those big quippy words of yours?” she supposed while pulling into her driveway and shutting off the engine.

He snorted. “Anytime you want, I can deliver.”

“Good. Then follow me and…don’t take all night, House. I don’t want a show for the neighbors,” she insisted.

“Must suck—moonlighting as an escort service and all of that,” he teased.

“You wish,” she laughed as they walked into her house and closed the door behind them. She yawned and stretched. “Being around you all day is exhausting.”

“I knew you’d give out before….” he started to say before she kissed him hard.

His hands passed along the length of her back even as his lips savored the contact with hers.

“I said being around you is exhausting. I didn’t say I was exhausted.” She allowed him about a twenty second grab before adding, “Unless that’s all you want, let’s go upstairs.”

Remembering the way well from the “panty raid,” he followed her up the stairs and the finale of a very interesting day…..